Internet Fun!
The following are a variety of items that either I found or other people have sent to me from the Internet:

Top 10 Rolling Stones songs that would be more appropriate than "Start Me Up" for the Windows '95 commercial:

10. Just My Imagination
9. I'm Going Down
8. Let It Bleed
7. Gimme Shelter
6. Bitch
5. Shattered
4. Play With Fire
3. (I can't get no) Satisfaction
2. You Can't Always Get What you Want

... and the number one...

1. 19th Nervous Breakdown

Flying Blind

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey, where am I?" To this, the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles away."

Is Windows a virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses (viri?) do:
  1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.
  2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.
  3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that, too.
  4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
  5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So, Windows is *not* a virus.

Windows 95 vs. The Box it comes in!